Third time is a charm

I haven't blogged for awhile... I was reminded of that yesterday :) Life has been busy, baseball season is back in full swing and I've volunteered for even more this year. I like it, being around the kids keeps me happy and oddly enough sane. Everyone always says "oh, they're so lucky to have you" - but in all honesty, I feel lucky to have them. This morning was rough for me. One of my techs left a key they needed in the shop and I needed to take it out to them. What I didn't realize was that trip out was going to be a trip down the H2 memory lane. Suddenly it hit me like a brick and I was on the bridge over Fisherman's terminal, turning onto the road that went directly by the terminal. The amount of times I made this trip just to spend 10 minutes with H2 came flooding back to me. It was a mixture of sadness and anger, next thing I knew  I was driving along absolutely crying my eyes out. I hadn't been anywhere near that area since we split and it j...

I have a date this weekend. We've been texting on and off for awhile. He got back together with his ex at one point about a year ago and honestly I shouldn't have been even thinking of dating that close to when H2 and a I split. He emailed me again on POF and we started texting again. It's been about three weeks of nonstop texting. We seem to get along well. There are definitely some things we don't agree on... which includes politics, but unlike H2 and I (oh politics and that man, insane) we can agree to disagree on things. He's from Ohio, he messages me "Good Morning Beautiful" every morning when he wakes up. I think it's cute in a ridiculous way. He drives a truck and owns a Harley. I've never ridden a motorcycle before, but it sounds like fun. He says his worst habit is being an asshole when people are rude to him. I can live with that, as long as he keeps it in check. Anyway, i'll be an interesting date. I'm not sure what we are do...

361 days ago I got a message over Facebook. "Stephanie, can I ask you who your husband is...?" After a bit more back and forth conversation and some picture proof I realized that my husband, who had been devoted to working on the house he purchased for us, wasn't really working on the house. He was spending time with his new wife and her kids. I've spent the better part of a year dwelling and obsessing... where is he..? what is he doing..? WHO is he doing..? This was followed by the Why's. Why me? Why her? and the what's... What did I do wrong? I was laying in bed last night thinking about everything when my thoughts changed. They changed to everything that is great going on. I have an amazing group of friends who have been so supportive of the ups and downs the past year. I've made new friends, grown closer with some friends and have gotten to the point where I can date a wonderfully understanding guy, who I am continually thankful for. I've re...

First of all, wonderful news - I'm officially divorced. I wasn't sure how I'd feel the day it happened, but in the end the amount of relief off of my shoulders was amazing. I talked to H2's newest wife a couple days leading up to the divorce, she's got herself in one heck of a bad situation. There is a part of me that wanted to help save her from the evilness that he is, but the other part of me knows that I can't get pulled back into the black abyss that is H2. I sent her some information on free legal aid in her county and told her that if she ever felt crazy and needed to talk I could help remind her she isn't the crazy one. Outside of that, I just can't. It bothered me, I felt like a bad person because of it - but I can't go down that road again. I'm over the mountain and happily skipping down the other side. I can't pull myself back up again. I've opted to leave the entire situation in the dust... no longer my circus or my monkeys. ...

I think in every post I've written I've mentioned how busy life is. There are sometimes I look back and think dang, it would be so nice to have someone helping out. However after those moments I realize that while sometimes life deals a single parent double the hard moments, it also brings double the amazing moments. I was sitting at C's school yesterday, waiting for his violin concert to start. H1 was there - because big events he needs to post pictures and act like dad of the year at. We were just waiting for the kids to come in when out of the blue C comes running up behind us, grabs me and gives me the biggest hug. "Mom, I'm so glad your here!". He proceeds to sit down and tell me all about his worries about being on stage, what if he messes up his strings (it was plucking twinkle, twinkle... pretty sure you'll survive kid!) or what if he pukes on stage. He then plopped down next to me, wrapped his arms around my waist and rested on my shoulder to watc...

It was 10:00 at night, I was exhausted and headed to bed when google calendar flashed me a reminder... "anniversary of first date". My eyes welled up in that raw emotion and I cried. It's been months since I've laid in bed and mourned my loss. I cried for the things that have been and the things that should have been. After about 10 minutes I realized that I was crying for a reason different from those I've cried for before. I realized that I was crying over H2, I was crying for myself, for what I felt should have been. I wasn't crying because I felt wronged or because H2 royally screwed me over. It really had very little to do with H2. I cried for what I want for myself in the future, I cried for the person I thought I had. The person I thought was my person. I took a deep breath, dried my tears, blew my nose and spent a moment looking back on myself and the journey that this has been. The things I've learned, the things I know now. The raw emotion doesn...

That's right, you read it - I'm going to have a divorce party from H2. Never before have I wanted to celebrate something like a divorce, but this time a celebration needs to commence. Sh*t went down on the divorce front at the end of last week. It included a domestic lawsuit among other things. I'm out for blood - but not the revenge type. The you screwed with the wrong girl and it's about time you paid type. I talked to a photographer friend of mine about doing a wreck the dress photo shoot. I'm in the mood to go above and beyond anything else I've done. The goal is a self empowering, I am woman watch me roar shoot. I'm even thinking of wearing black lingerie under the dress that as things get trashed it starts to show. It's WAY edgy for me, because sexy isn't usually on the list of words that I'd use to describe myself, but I think the step outside of my box would be good for me. Paint, water and fire definitely need to be involved... that ...

I admit it - I've never watched the fifty-shades series of movies. Until this weekend... The house was quiet (well, as quiet as can be with two kittens running around) since C is at H1's house for midwinter break. I had some crafting to do and decided that I would watch something adult. 50 Shades was a rental on Amazon and I thought, why not... for $3.99 even if it is THAT horrible it's not like I broke the bank renting it. So I watched it - This movie left me with a really, really off feeling. What you want to do with your sex life is what you want to do and I'm totally cool with that - however Christian Gray blasted through so many boundaries. That lifestyle is all about consent, but he consistently broke right through Anastasia's boundaries. Who the heck shows up in a girls apartment with a bottle of wine after she broke up with him or sends her flowers because he's stalking her on her first day of work. The first one ended so abruptly that I had...

This weekend was a little crazy at our house. I wasn't supposed to have my kiddo (it's H1's weekend) but ended up having him so his dad could do some computer work. I will never pass up an opportunity to hang out with C, so we headed off to the Seattle Science Center with some good friends. Saturday evening I had a date scheduled with K.  We had been talking online for awhile, that moved to text messages and then we finally met in person. We were originally going to meet on Friday night, however Friday evening turned into a cluster of things I needed to get done before Saturday. He was irritated that Friday didn't happen, I can't blame him there. I just got busy and time got away from me. Anyway, Saturday we met for dinner at Sushi Zen - an excellent sushi spot in Mill Creek. We met about 7:30, I wore jeans, boots and a t-shirt because fancy was not on the agenda for me. He had assured me on the phone that he wasn't dressing up either - that was an understat...

Evidently "Lose my number" - means find me on every social media site or dating site that you possibly can and keep emailing to George. I got a hit on Plenty of Fish this weekend from George....  Him : "I miss you already. I'm going to start a job in Everett and we should go on another date again soon" Me: "It's not going to happen George."  Thank goodness for the block button. and 90 people read my last blog... HOLY CRAP that is AWESOME!!

Oh. My. Goodness.... wait until you guys here about this one... I can't even think up an interesting name to call the guy. Lets just call him something boring, like George. George and I had plans on Saturday to go down to Brooklyn Brothers Pizza and hit up Funko. Since I had an minor oral surgery on Thursday and George had to work till one, we put off the date until Sunday. It was fine by me, I spent Saturday at home watching Netflix and doing laundry. Sunday rolled around and I put on a pair of jeans and a cute shirt, dressing up wasn't on my list of things to do. I wasn't sure what I thought of George, we had been talking for awhile and he seemed nice. I got to Brooklyn Brothers (not before shooting off a text to my wonderful neighbor letting her know where I was) and we grabbed a seat. The conversation was fine, nothing super interesting. I felt like I yammered on a bit more than usual, but it kept things going at least. The lunch was uneventful, he told me about his...

I've been texting back and forth with P for awhile now. I've had my son for the past three weekends in a row (we went winter camping in the snow, it was AMAZING) and life has been busy. Last night we were trying to ferment plans for the weekend, he offered to come over to my house with a pizza and we could watch movies and hang out.... I think that my answer was a bit harsh, but really... I know that coming over for pizza and getting to know each other (yeah, there *might* be an ulterior motive there but i'm honestly not sure at this point) sounds like a great idea, but here's the deal... I'm a single mom who lives with her nine year old son. If you think for one minute random internet guy that i'm going to let you come over and hang out at my house you have another thing coming to you. My reply to him: P: I could bring pizza and a movie to your place. Me: Really? P: Would that be cool? Me: Lets think this through... am I going to invite a man i've ne...

That's right folks, I did it again and went out on another date. We had been talking back and forth (both text and on the phone!) for quite some time. We had a couple dates planned, however one things lead to another and two were cancelled. One was my fault and the other was his so i've gotta take 50% of the blame on this one. This date was a bit on the fly, as I was riding on the ferry back home from Thanksgiving when he asked what I was up to that evening. I figured I had nothing to lose, why not! After consulting with my awesome neighbor (and FRIEND) letting her know where I was going and who I was with, just to make sure if I didn't turn back up someone would know where to start looking... We met at Outback, which is a great place. Since it was 8pm, which is getting towards my bedtime, we decided to just do salad and a bloomin' onion. I know that Outback's Bloomin' Onions have a great reputation, but honestly folks... it was okay and I was unimpressed. H...

Today I am feeling old, at the old age of 35 (yes folks, that is what we call sarcasm) I've realized that really the only way to date is online. I went out to the bar with a friend last weekend, after Produce Guy, we had a blast. We go out about once a year and call it "dirty drinking" while hitting the local dive/biker bar. Admittedly, it was a confidence boost as there were multiple guys who "liked my shirt". Seriously, that was the pick up line for at least three guys. The most memorable of the shirt liking guys was a musician. Seemed like a nice guy, he really wanted me to go out to his truck, smoke some weed and listen to him play on his keyboard. While there was no chance he was going to get me out to his truck, I did later find out that his truck was not only his form of transportation, it was also his home. So homeless, pot smoking, keyboard player, good luck with your search but keep on movin'. But I think I'll keep my  Target Plaid Shirt  a...

Hair curled, check. Nails painted, check. Knee high, I feel amazing about myself boots, check. Show off the boobs shirt, check. Flask, because a little liquid courage can't do anything but help, check. I went on a date this weekend. It was absolutely pouring rain when I pulled up at Starbucks. He was standing outside waiting. Why was he standing outside waiting in the rain, I have no idea but he was but there he was. Sweatshirt, jeans and a grocery store cap, his hands shoved in his pocket like a high school boy on his first date. He was tall and lanky in an awkward type of way, he rocked back and forth on his heels as I hurried up to the door. After a very awkward hug, that I wasn't expecting that realistically turned out to be more like a bro hug, we hurried into the warm, friendly Starbucks atmosphere that all of us Washingtonians are familiar with. As we sit down at a table in the corner he blurts out, "I'm not much of a talker." and looks at me like a...