Healing Continues...
I haven't blogged for awhile... I was reminded of that yesterday :)
Life has been busy, baseball season is back in full swing and I've volunteered for even more this year. I like it, being around the kids keeps me happy and oddly enough sane. Everyone always says "oh, they're so lucky to have you" - but in all honesty, I feel lucky to have them.
This morning was rough for me. One of my techs left a key they needed in the shop and I needed to take it out to them. What I didn't realize was that trip out was going to be a trip down the H2 memory lane. Suddenly it hit me like a brick and I was on the bridge over Fisherman's terminal, turning onto the road that went directly by the terminal. The amount of times I made this trip just to spend 10 minutes with H2 came flooding back to me. It was a mixture of sadness and anger, next thing I knew I was driving along absolutely crying my eyes out. I hadn't been anywhere near that area since we split and it just brought back a flood of emotions I wasn't expecting. It wasn't a bad cry - it brought relief and a little bit of grief. In my head I've called H2 by his real name since we split, because that was the real person he was. I found myself thinking about the name he called himself, the person I remember. The names combined a bit in my head and I began to realize that I've separated them by their name, same guy - two personalities, each with different names. After spending some time driving I began thinking about it, while there were two different personalities, he was always the same person. It was just another step in the continual healing process...
On the other side of things, dating sucks and I've decided I hate it. If you have a reasonable friend who is a good guy, doesn't live with his parents, has a car, has a job and understands being a parent please feel free to send him my way. I'm pretty convinced they don't exist at this point. -- That's a blog for another day.
Life has been busy, baseball season is back in full swing and I've volunteered for even more this year. I like it, being around the kids keeps me happy and oddly enough sane. Everyone always says "oh, they're so lucky to have you" - but in all honesty, I feel lucky to have them.
This morning was rough for me. One of my techs left a key they needed in the shop and I needed to take it out to them. What I didn't realize was that trip out was going to be a trip down the H2 memory lane. Suddenly it hit me like a brick and I was on the bridge over Fisherman's terminal, turning onto the road that went directly by the terminal. The amount of times I made this trip just to spend 10 minutes with H2 came flooding back to me. It was a mixture of sadness and anger, next thing I knew I was driving along absolutely crying my eyes out. I hadn't been anywhere near that area since we split and it just brought back a flood of emotions I wasn't expecting. It wasn't a bad cry - it brought relief and a little bit of grief. In my head I've called H2 by his real name since we split, because that was the real person he was. I found myself thinking about the name he called himself, the person I remember. The names combined a bit in my head and I began to realize that I've separated them by their name, same guy - two personalities, each with different names. After spending some time driving I began thinking about it, while there were two different personalities, he was always the same person. It was just another step in the continual healing process...
On the other side of things, dating sucks and I've decided I hate it. If you have a reasonable friend who is a good guy, doesn't live with his parents, has a car, has a job and understands being a parent please feel free to send him my way. I'm pretty convinced they don't exist at this point. -- That's a blog for another day.
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