Third time is a charm

Ghosting is this new thing where the person your talking to (or dating) just disappears because they are too chicken to say it's not working or they found a better option. It's a crap way to behave and thanks to technology it's a growing thing. I recently went on a couple dates with a guy. On our last date we went to Olive Garden. I'm pretty sure he thought we were going to a really classy place... so I think we're going to call this guy Never Ending Pasta. You'll never guess what he ordered. Anyway, Never Ending Pasta and I were supposed to go to the local hockey team game. They're in the playoffs and I got seats on the glass to have an amazing view of the game. The deal was I'd get the tickets and he'd get dinner before the game. I texted about midday, called in the early afternoon. No response. He ghosted me, never called or texted back. I went to the game, had a couple drinks (thought I was SUPER COOL drinking beer with a straw) with my amazi...

I've spent a lot of my life not knowing or understanding my worth. Recently this plunge back into the dating scene has caused me to focus on what I am truly worth and what I am and am not, willing to put up with. I'm worth more than the last two guys I married ever treated me like and it managed to get me into this mind frame that those relationships were the best I was going to get. Wrong. I'm a good person, I volunteer - I'm active in my son's life. I'm not going to settle for someone less than what I want. I'm not in a hurry to fall in love with anyone. Heck, I'm not entirely sure I even know what love is when it comes to loving someone other than family. However, I'm slowly learning to fall in love with myself. Physically i'm not where I want to be, however I am really interested in joining the new Kickboxing gym coming in local to me. (Anyone else want to join with me?!) I'm so very thankful for my close friends who have helped support...

I have a date this weekend. We've been texting on and off for awhile. He got back together with his ex at one point about a year ago and honestly I shouldn't have been even thinking of dating that close to when H2 and a I split. He emailed me again on POF and we started texting again. It's been about three weeks of nonstop texting. We seem to get along well. There are definitely some things we don't agree on... which includes politics, but unlike H2 and I (oh politics and that man, insane) we can agree to disagree on things. He's from Ohio, he messages me "Good Morning Beautiful" every morning when he wakes up. I think it's cute in a ridiculous way. He drives a truck and owns a Harley. I've never ridden a motorcycle before, but it sounds like fun. He says his worst habit is being an asshole when people are rude to him. I can live with that, as long as he keeps it in check. Anyway, i'll be an interesting date. I'm not sure what we are do...

It's a serious blog type of day... When H2 and I split a good friend of mine (who just happens to be a therapist) recommended a therapist for me to go see. For awhile I was hesitant because in my own head seeing a therapist meant that something was wrong and something being wrong meant that H2 had gotten to me. In hindsight now I can look back on the years we spent together and honestly say that man mentally and emotionally destroyed me. The damage was done during our relationship, not after and the destruction was deeper then I could have ever imagined. Within a few sessions my therapist diagnosed me with PTSD. I asked a lot of questions because PTSD was reserved for troops and people who had seen and been through horrible things in their life. PTSD is for people who have served in wars and suffered losses that I could not scratch the surface of being able to relate to. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, it was that point where I really began to realize the fragile mental positio...

I'm feeling quite philosophical today. As our typical Seattle fall afternoon falls into place gray rainy and wet. I sit watching the rain fall in my flannel Costco jacket, listening to some Amazon Prime. It's a Friday afternoon and I have weekend plans that include paint your own pottery with friends, laundry, baseball and just some relaxing. The house is clean (I hired a house keeper, BEST decision EVER), I could probably do some grocery shopping at some point. Oh and I need to stop by and purchase cub scout popcorn from C, who is selling with his dad this weekend at the local Safeway. I was supposed to go out with a guy tonight, however it ended up he had to work and honestly, i'm in no hurry. He just kinda fell into my lap. While I still wonder about PCG every once in awhile, his actions caused me to realize that I don't think he is the person he presented himself to be. I had higher expectations for him. It makes me sad that he made the behavior choices that he ...

361 days ago I got a message over Facebook. "Stephanie, can I ask you who your husband is...?" After a bit more back and forth conversation and some picture proof I realized that my husband, who had been devoted to working on the house he purchased for us, wasn't really working on the house. He was spending time with his new wife and her kids. I've spent the better part of a year dwelling and obsessing... where is he..? what is he doing..? WHO is he doing..? This was followed by the Why's. Why me? Why her? and the what's... What did I do wrong? I was laying in bed last night thinking about everything when my thoughts changed. They changed to everything that is great going on. I have an amazing group of friends who have been so supportive of the ups and downs the past year. I've made new friends, grown closer with some friends and have gotten to the point where I can date a wonderfully understanding guy, who I am continually thankful for. I've re...

So this happened :   https://www.instagram.com/p/Blo1cWXjLr2/                                https://www.instagram.com/p/Blo1xjfjENN/ I'll completely admit it - I went back and forth about being okay with this. People are mean and trolls, I don't need that in my life. I'm not the least confident person in the world, but I'm not the most confident either. Life threw a wrench in my wheels and I'm finally overcoming that, knocking myself back down doesn't sound like a fun ride. However, there will be haters in life and that is what it is. This photo set was so amazing that sharing it with the world seemed appropriate. For the first time I went on and read the comments. They actually brought me to tears. My hope is that someone will realize that even though divorce sucks and is really tough, they'll get through it. They'll even come out a stronger person. Sometimes you just need to hear that it will ...

Awhile ago I wrote about an amazing photo shoot I did, a wreck the dress shoot with my wedding dress from H2. While we aren't quite divorced yet, this was the most freeing thing I could have done for myself. It helped with closure and helped me get out of my own head. Here's how it went... We started out with some champagne.... Then we moved on to some paint...  Next came the red wine... Then the real fun started when the lighter fluid and scissors came out to play.. and then it burned... oh did it burn. It was a lovely sight. It actually continued to burn enough that we had to throw rocks at it and make sure it sunk and burned out! A mini celebration came after the dress sunk Photo credits go to Dani Griffin at After Midnight Photography. Follow her, love her and hire her for pictures. She is amazing... she does our family pictures too. I just got back some amazing pictures of C and I from a 50's style photo shoot! <3 <3 <3 ...

I did it! I did the wreck the dress shoot, I went through a time where I thought for awhile I wasn't going to do it, but I did it and I'm quite pleased with myself. I have to admit, when I slipped that wedding dress back on it was a strange feeling. The thought went through my head, what the heck are you doing... but then we opened a bottle of wine and it was down hill from there. This was a lot of planning for me, I wanted it to be the perfect storm of amazingness. I ended up wearing a pair of booty shorts, thigh high stockings (with bows), a black scalloped tank top and knee high black boots under my dress, which was probably what took the most thought. We started off by taking sparkling wine and fizzing it into the air, all over me and the dress. It was my own personal celebration! We then moved on to purple and blue paint in condiment containers and gold spray paint. All over the dress, I even put it on the ground and rolled in it. After the paint we moved on to red wi...