Third time is a charm

I've texted, he hasn't replied. I'm done - I may have messed up, but it's his loss as much as mine. I'm not going to chase someone down who obviously can't take the time to text back. Not going to lie, it sucks, but it is what it is and it's time to get over it. It's time to throw myself into other activities. Fall is my favorite season, so we have multiple pumpkin patch trips planned this year. Washington has amazing fall colors and it's surprisingly warm during the day, which makes for some fun trips. C's Scouting troop is going to take over a corn maze one of the weekends, it'll definitely be entertaining! Next thing I know it'll be Halloween, C's birthday in November, Thanksgiving, Christmas and 2019 will be knocking at our door. In my head i'm already making some resolutions for 2019, however i'm planning on starting them in 2018. The first resolution might just be stop stressing over guys who don't stress over yo...

361 days ago I got a message over Facebook. "Stephanie, can I ask you who your husband is...?" After a bit more back and forth conversation and some picture proof I realized that my husband, who had been devoted to working on the house he purchased for us, wasn't really working on the house. He was spending time with his new wife and her kids. I've spent the better part of a year dwelling and obsessing... where is he..? what is he doing..? WHO is he doing..? This was followed by the Why's. Why me? Why her? and the what's... What did I do wrong? I was laying in bed last night thinking about everything when my thoughts changed. They changed to everything that is great going on. I have an amazing group of friends who have been so supportive of the ups and downs the past year. I've made new friends, grown closer with some friends and have gotten to the point where I can date a wonderfully understanding guy, who I am continually thankful for. I've re...

So this happened :   https://www.instagram.com/p/Blo1cWXjLr2/                                https://www.instagram.com/p/Blo1xjfjENN/ I'll completely admit it - I went back and forth about being okay with this. People are mean and trolls, I don't need that in my life. I'm not the least confident person in the world, but I'm not the most confident either. Life threw a wrench in my wheels and I'm finally overcoming that, knocking myself back down doesn't sound like a fun ride. However, there will be haters in life and that is what it is. This photo set was so amazing that sharing it with the world seemed appropriate. For the first time I went on and read the comments. They actually brought me to tears. My hope is that someone will realize that even though divorce sucks and is really tough, they'll get through it. They'll even come out a stronger person. Sometimes you just need to hear that it will ...

Awhile ago I wrote about an amazing photo shoot I did, a wreck the dress shoot with my wedding dress from H2. While we aren't quite divorced yet, this was the most freeing thing I could have done for myself. It helped with closure and helped me get out of my own head. Here's how it went... We started out with some champagne.... Then we moved on to some paint...  Next came the red wine... Then the real fun started when the lighter fluid and scissors came out to play.. and then it burned... oh did it burn. It was a lovely sight. It actually continued to burn enough that we had to throw rocks at it and make sure it sunk and burned out! A mini celebration came after the dress sunk Photo credits go to Dani Griffin at After Midnight Photography. Follow her, love her and hire her for pictures. She is amazing... she does our family pictures too. I just got back some amazing pictures of C and I from a 50's style photo shoot! <3 <3 <3 ...

I did it! I did the wreck the dress shoot, I went through a time where I thought for awhile I wasn't going to do it, but I did it and I'm quite pleased with myself. I have to admit, when I slipped that wedding dress back on it was a strange feeling. The thought went through my head, what the heck are you doing... but then we opened a bottle of wine and it was down hill from there. This was a lot of planning for me, I wanted it to be the perfect storm of amazingness. I ended up wearing a pair of booty shorts, thigh high stockings (with bows), a black scalloped tank top and knee high black boots under my dress, which was probably what took the most thought. We started off by taking sparkling wine and fizzing it into the air, all over me and the dress. It was my own personal celebration! We then moved on to purple and blue paint in condiment containers and gold spray paint. All over the dress, I even put it on the ground and rolled in it. After the paint we moved on to red wi...

It was 10:00 at night, I was exhausted and headed to bed when google calendar flashed me a reminder... "anniversary of first date". My eyes welled up in that raw emotion and I cried. It's been months since I've laid in bed and mourned my loss. I cried for the things that have been and the things that should have been. After about 10 minutes I realized that I was crying for a reason different from those I've cried for before. I realized that I was crying over H2, I was crying for myself, for what I felt should have been. I wasn't crying because I felt wronged or because H2 royally screwed me over. It really had very little to do with H2. I cried for what I want for myself in the future, I cried for the person I thought I had. The person I thought was my person. I took a deep breath, dried my tears, blew my nose and spent a moment looking back on myself and the journey that this has been. The things I've learned, the things I know now. The raw emotion doesn...

That's right, you read it - I'm going to have a divorce party from H2. Never before have I wanted to celebrate something like a divorce, but this time a celebration needs to commence. Sh*t went down on the divorce front at the end of last week. It included a domestic lawsuit among other things. I'm out for blood - but not the revenge type. The you screwed with the wrong girl and it's about time you paid type. I talked to a photographer friend of mine about doing a wreck the dress photo shoot. I'm in the mood to go above and beyond anything else I've done. The goal is a self empowering, I am woman watch me roar shoot. I'm even thinking of wearing black lingerie under the dress that as things get trashed it starts to show. It's WAY edgy for me, because sexy isn't usually on the list of words that I'd use to describe myself, but I think the step outside of my box would be good for me. Paint, water and fire definitely need to be involved... that ...