Third time is a charm

This weekend the kiddo and I took off on a much needed R&R camping trip. We loaded the car up and left directly after work to get on the ferry boat headed towards the woods! Let me tell you, I've been excited the entire week to get away. I just needed to clear my mind and reset my body. This camping opportunity came at the perfect time, the universe definitely took care of me. However, the universe also threw an opportunity at me that I didn't see coming under any circumstance... We waited about an hour in the ferry line, which is totally common for a Friday afternoon. C played on his phone and I enjoyed the scenery as we inched closer and closer in line. Finally we loaded on to the boat. We lucked out and got a great spot right in the front on the side. The boat has four main lanes in the middle and on both sides they have a lower and upper deck to park cars. We were the first car on the ramp coming down from the upper deck. I couldn't remember if I had packed...

When I was growing up my mom always told me that I would be able to count my friends on my hand. I always thought I was ahead of the game because I had more friends than fingers. More recently I've come to realize how very true her words are. This evening at baseball I sat with two other parents in the wind and pouring rain. Thankfully one parent was the smarter of the three and came packing a portable propane heater. As the wind blew the heater would sputter and both of us screamed, laughed and commiserated in the cold together. Most of the other parents had dropped their kids and left, not wanting to spend time in the rain or having other obligations. The parents that were out in the rain, they're my tribe. The parents that participate in Cub Scouts with their kid, those parents are my tribe too. The parents who parent, care about their kid and want to support their kid - those are my people. The parents who celebrate the good moments and help process the bad. I am so tha...

I haven't blogged for awhile... I was reminded of that yesterday :) Life has been busy, baseball season is back in full swing and I've volunteered for even more this year. I like it, being around the kids keeps me happy and oddly enough sane. Everyone always says "oh, they're so lucky to have you" - but in all honesty, I feel lucky to have them. This morning was rough for me. One of my techs left a key they needed in the shop and I needed to take it out to them. What I didn't realize was that trip out was going to be a trip down the H2 memory lane. Suddenly it hit me like a brick and I was on the bridge over Fisherman's terminal, turning onto the road that went directly by the terminal. The amount of times I made this trip just to spend 10 minutes with H2 came flooding back to me. It was a mixture of sadness and anger, next thing I knew  I was driving along absolutely crying my eyes out. I hadn't been anywhere near that area since we split and it j...

I've spent a lot of my life not knowing or understanding my worth. Recently this plunge back into the dating scene has caused me to focus on what I am truly worth and what I am and am not, willing to put up with. I'm worth more than the last two guys I married ever treated me like and it managed to get me into this mind frame that those relationships were the best I was going to get. Wrong. I'm a good person, I volunteer - I'm active in my son's life. I'm not going to settle for someone less than what I want. I'm not in a hurry to fall in love with anyone. Heck, I'm not entirely sure I even know what love is when it comes to loving someone other than family. However, I'm slowly learning to fall in love with myself. Physically i'm not where I want to be, however I am really interested in joining the new Kickboxing gym coming in local to me. (Anyone else want to join with me?!) I'm so very thankful for my close friends who have helped support...

I have a date this weekend. We've been texting on and off for awhile. He got back together with his ex at one point about a year ago and honestly I shouldn't have been even thinking of dating that close to when H2 and a I split. He emailed me again on POF and we started texting again. It's been about three weeks of nonstop texting. We seem to get along well. There are definitely some things we don't agree on... which includes politics, but unlike H2 and I (oh politics and that man, insane) we can agree to disagree on things. He's from Ohio, he messages me "Good Morning Beautiful" every morning when he wakes up. I think it's cute in a ridiculous way. He drives a truck and owns a Harley. I've never ridden a motorcycle before, but it sounds like fun. He says his worst habit is being an asshole when people are rude to him. I can live with that, as long as he keeps it in check. Anyway, i'll be an interesting date. I'm not sure what we are do...

Life has been all about baseball lately, practices and games were four times a week - plus balancing cub scouts, violin, birthday parties and any other random social events makes for one heck of a busy single mom. If it wasn't busy enough we won our championship and ended up in the tournament of champions. Unfortunately yesterday was a bitter sweet eliminating loss. It's a sad it's over but happy it happened situation. I made some new friends, C had amazing experiences and we have both grown to love baseball even more. You would be amazed at how into a game one can get... especially when your kid is playing. Last week was H2 and my 2nd marriage anniversary. It hadn't really crossed my mind until the pictures showed up in my facebook feed. It was almost a trigger moment as a couple tears did manage to escape. It tried to tug me back into that dark place I was in when I was with him. Where chaos and insanity ruled and I felt like everything was always my fault. I know t...

I did it! I did the wreck the dress shoot, I went through a time where I thought for awhile I wasn't going to do it, but I did it and I'm quite pleased with myself. I have to admit, when I slipped that wedding dress back on it was a strange feeling. The thought went through my head, what the heck are you doing... but then we opened a bottle of wine and it was down hill from there. This was a lot of planning for me, I wanted it to be the perfect storm of amazingness. I ended up wearing a pair of booty shorts, thigh high stockings (with bows), a black scalloped tank top and knee high black boots under my dress, which was probably what took the most thought. We started off by taking sparkling wine and fizzing it into the air, all over me and the dress. It was my own personal celebration! We then moved on to purple and blue paint in condiment containers and gold spray paint. All over the dress, I even put it on the ground and rolled in it. After the paint we moved on to red wi...