Third time is a charm

This weekend the kiddo and I took off on a much needed R&R camping trip. We loaded the car up and left directly after work to get on the ferry boat headed towards the woods! Let me tell you, I've been excited the entire week to get away. I just needed to clear my mind and reset my body. This camping opportunity came at the perfect time, the universe definitely took care of me. However, the universe also threw an opportunity at me that I didn't see coming under any circumstance... We waited about an hour in the ferry line, which is totally common for a Friday afternoon. C played on his phone and I enjoyed the scenery as we inched closer and closer in line. Finally we loaded on to the boat. We lucked out and got a great spot right in the front on the side. The boat has four main lanes in the middle and on both sides they have a lower and upper deck to park cars. We were the first car on the ramp coming down from the upper deck. I couldn't remember if I had packed...

I haven't blogged for awhile... I was reminded of that yesterday :) Life has been busy, baseball season is back in full swing and I've volunteered for even more this year. I like it, being around the kids keeps me happy and oddly enough sane. Everyone always says "oh, they're so lucky to have you" - but in all honesty, I feel lucky to have them. This morning was rough for me. One of my techs left a key they needed in the shop and I needed to take it out to them. What I didn't realize was that trip out was going to be a trip down the H2 memory lane. Suddenly it hit me like a brick and I was on the bridge over Fisherman's terminal, turning onto the road that went directly by the terminal. The amount of times I made this trip just to spend 10 minutes with H2 came flooding back to me. It was a mixture of sadness and anger, next thing I knew  I was driving along absolutely crying my eyes out. I hadn't been anywhere near that area since we split and it j...

It's a serious blog type of day... When H2 and I split a good friend of mine (who just happens to be a therapist) recommended a therapist for me to go see. For awhile I was hesitant because in my own head seeing a therapist meant that something was wrong and something being wrong meant that H2 had gotten to me. In hindsight now I can look back on the years we spent together and honestly say that man mentally and emotionally destroyed me. The damage was done during our relationship, not after and the destruction was deeper then I could have ever imagined. Within a few sessions my therapist diagnosed me with PTSD. I asked a lot of questions because PTSD was reserved for troops and people who had seen and been through horrible things in their life. PTSD is for people who have served in wars and suffered losses that I could not scratch the surface of being able to relate to. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, it was that point where I really began to realize the fragile mental positio...

I've texted, he hasn't replied. I'm done - I may have messed up, but it's his loss as much as mine. I'm not going to chase someone down who obviously can't take the time to text back. Not going to lie, it sucks, but it is what it is and it's time to get over it. It's time to throw myself into other activities. Fall is my favorite season, so we have multiple pumpkin patch trips planned this year. Washington has amazing fall colors and it's surprisingly warm during the day, which makes for some fun trips. C's Scouting troop is going to take over a corn maze one of the weekends, it'll definitely be entertaining! Next thing I know it'll be Halloween, C's birthday in November, Thanksgiving, Christmas and 2019 will be knocking at our door. In my head i'm already making some resolutions for 2019, however i'm planning on starting them in 2018. The first resolution might just be stop stressing over guys who don't stress over yo...

I think in every post I've written I've mentioned how busy life is. There are sometimes I look back and think dang, it would be so nice to have someone helping out. However after those moments I realize that while sometimes life deals a single parent double the hard moments, it also brings double the amazing moments. I was sitting at C's school yesterday, waiting for his violin concert to start. H1 was there - because big events he needs to post pictures and act like dad of the year at. We were just waiting for the kids to come in when out of the blue C comes running up behind us, grabs me and gives me the biggest hug. "Mom, I'm so glad your here!". He proceeds to sit down and tell me all about his worries about being on stage, what if he messes up his strings (it was plucking twinkle, twinkle... pretty sure you'll survive kid!) or what if he pukes on stage. He then plopped down next to me, wrapped his arms around my waist and rested on my shoulder to watc...