Third time is a charm

Summer happened and this blog certainly didn't... School starts tomorrow and things are starting to fall (haha, pun not intended) into our normal routine of organized chaos. I'm stressed but it always turns out okay in the end. This summer consisted of family and friends with a handful of dates sprinkled in the middle. I have to admit by the end of July I had pretty much just given up on the dating scene of life. If I had one more guy tell me I spend too much time with my kid I was going to seriously loose my mind, probably on whoever that unsuspecting guy was. We are a package deal, take it or leave it - end of story. I spent some time being single, hanging out with some amazing drama free friends. I think it's the most fun I've had going out in a long time. We played pool at the local dive bar and hit the casino for some dancing. There were definitely some antics going on which was just good fun. By mid July I had gotten to the point where I was happy being sing...

When I was growing up my mom always told me that I would be able to count my friends on my hand. I always thought I was ahead of the game because I had more friends than fingers. More recently I've come to realize how very true her words are. This evening at baseball I sat with two other parents in the wind and pouring rain. Thankfully one parent was the smarter of the three and came packing a portable propane heater. As the wind blew the heater would sputter and both of us screamed, laughed and commiserated in the cold together. Most of the other parents had dropped their kids and left, not wanting to spend time in the rain or having other obligations. The parents that were out in the rain, they're my tribe. The parents that participate in Cub Scouts with their kid, those parents are my tribe too. The parents who parent, care about their kid and want to support their kid - those are my people. The parents who celebrate the good moments and help process the bad. I am so tha...

First of all, wonderful news - I'm officially divorced. I wasn't sure how I'd feel the day it happened, but in the end the amount of relief off of my shoulders was amazing. I talked to H2's newest wife a couple days leading up to the divorce, she's got herself in one heck of a bad situation. There is a part of me that wanted to help save her from the evilness that he is, but the other part of me knows that I can't get pulled back into the black abyss that is H2. I sent her some information on free legal aid in her county and told her that if she ever felt crazy and needed to talk I could help remind her she isn't the crazy one. Outside of that, I just can't. It bothered me, I felt like a bad person because of it - but I can't go down that road again. I'm over the mountain and happily skipping down the other side. I can't pull myself back up again. I've opted to leave the entire situation in the dust... no longer my circus or my monkeys. ...

I did it! I did the wreck the dress shoot, I went through a time where I thought for awhile I wasn't going to do it, but I did it and I'm quite pleased with myself. I have to admit, when I slipped that wedding dress back on it was a strange feeling. The thought went through my head, what the heck are you doing... but then we opened a bottle of wine and it was down hill from there. This was a lot of planning for me, I wanted it to be the perfect storm of amazingness. I ended up wearing a pair of booty shorts, thigh high stockings (with bows), a black scalloped tank top and knee high black boots under my dress, which was probably what took the most thought. We started off by taking sparkling wine and fizzing it into the air, all over me and the dress. It was my own personal celebration! We then moved on to purple and blue paint in condiment containers and gold spray paint. All over the dress, I even put it on the ground and rolled in it. After the paint we moved on to red wi...

It was 10:00 at night, I was exhausted and headed to bed when google calendar flashed me a reminder... "anniversary of first date". My eyes welled up in that raw emotion and I cried. It's been months since I've laid in bed and mourned my loss. I cried for the things that have been and the things that should have been. After about 10 minutes I realized that I was crying for a reason different from those I've cried for before. I realized that I was crying over H2, I was crying for myself, for what I felt should have been. I wasn't crying because I felt wronged or because H2 royally screwed me over. It really had very little to do with H2. I cried for what I want for myself in the future, I cried for the person I thought I had. The person I thought was my person. I took a deep breath, dried my tears, blew my nose and spent a moment looking back on myself and the journey that this has been. The things I've learned, the things I know now. The raw emotion doesn...

I admit it - I've never watched the fifty-shades series of movies. Until this weekend... The house was quiet (well, as quiet as can be with two kittens running around) since C is at H1's house for midwinter break. I had some crafting to do and decided that I would watch something adult. 50 Shades was a rental on Amazon and I thought, why not... for $3.99 even if it is THAT horrible it's not like I broke the bank renting it. So I watched it - This movie left me with a really, really off feeling. What you want to do with your sex life is what you want to do and I'm totally cool with that - however Christian Gray blasted through so many boundaries. That lifestyle is all about consent, but he consistently broke right through Anastasia's boundaries. Who the heck shows up in a girls apartment with a bottle of wine after she broke up with him or sends her flowers because he's stalking her on her first day of work. The first one ended so abruptly that I had...

This weekend was a little crazy at our house. I wasn't supposed to have my kiddo (it's H1's weekend) but ended up having him so his dad could do some computer work. I will never pass up an opportunity to hang out with C, so we headed off to the Seattle Science Center with some good friends. Saturday evening I had a date scheduled with K.  We had been talking online for awhile, that moved to text messages and then we finally met in person. We were originally going to meet on Friday night, however Friday evening turned into a cluster of things I needed to get done before Saturday. He was irritated that Friday didn't happen, I can't blame him there. I just got busy and time got away from me. Anyway, Saturday we met for dinner at Sushi Zen - an excellent sushi spot in Mill Creek. We met about 7:30, I wore jeans, boots and a t-shirt because fancy was not on the agenda for me. He had assured me on the phone that he wasn't dressing up either - that was an understat...