Third time is a charm

This morning I sat down at the computer to write a blog welcoming in 2019. I drafted it, reread it and set it down. I'm already in a bit of a funk, I dropped C off at his father's house last night for the week. While it was completely ridiculous to have him with me for the week at work, I miss him like crazy. This morning I felt that it was New Years and I wanted to be one of those girls who had an amazing person to kiss at midnight. I spent the day feeling sorry for myself and having a cruddy outlook on the last day of 2018. I dropped a friend off at the airport this evening and headed home. It is getting cold and potentially icy, plus I just don't like being on the road for NYE. As I drove home I talked to my mom and a good friend. My attitude adjusted a bit. As I pulled up closer to my house my attitude faded. I ran into Safeway and grabbed a few things for myself this evening and as I walked into the house I realized, I don't really have it as bad as my attitude was...

So this happened :   https://www.instagram.com/p/Blo1cWXjLr2/                                https://www.instagram.com/p/Blo1xjfjENN/ I'll completely admit it - I went back and forth about being okay with this. People are mean and trolls, I don't need that in my life. I'm not the least confident person in the world, but I'm not the most confident either. Life threw a wrench in my wheels and I'm finally overcoming that, knocking myself back down doesn't sound like a fun ride. However, there will be haters in life and that is what it is. This photo set was so amazing that sharing it with the world seemed appropriate. For the first time I went on and read the comments. They actually brought me to tears. My hope is that someone will realize that even though divorce sucks and is really tough, they'll get through it. They'll even come out a stronger person. Sometimes you just need to hear that it will ...

It was 10:00 at night, I was exhausted and headed to bed when google calendar flashed me a reminder... "anniversary of first date". My eyes welled up in that raw emotion and I cried. It's been months since I've laid in bed and mourned my loss. I cried for the things that have been and the things that should have been. After about 10 minutes I realized that I was crying for a reason different from those I've cried for before. I realized that I was crying over H2, I was crying for myself, for what I felt should have been. I wasn't crying because I felt wronged or because H2 royally screwed me over. It really had very little to do with H2. I cried for what I want for myself in the future, I cried for the person I thought I had. The person I thought was my person. I took a deep breath, dried my tears, blew my nose and spent a moment looking back on myself and the journey that this has been. The things I've learned, the things I know now. The raw emotion doesn...

That's right, you read it - I'm going to have a divorce party from H2. Never before have I wanted to celebrate something like a divorce, but this time a celebration needs to commence. Sh*t went down on the divorce front at the end of last week. It included a domestic lawsuit among other things. I'm out for blood - but not the revenge type. The you screwed with the wrong girl and it's about time you paid type. I talked to a photographer friend of mine about doing a wreck the dress photo shoot. I'm in the mood to go above and beyond anything else I've done. The goal is a self empowering, I am woman watch me roar shoot. I'm even thinking of wearing black lingerie under the dress that as things get trashed it starts to show. It's WAY edgy for me, because sexy isn't usually on the list of words that I'd use to describe myself, but I think the step outside of my box would be good for me. Paint, water and fire definitely need to be involved... that ...

I admit it - I've never watched the fifty-shades series of movies. Until this weekend... The house was quiet (well, as quiet as can be with two kittens running around) since C is at H1's house for midwinter break. I had some crafting to do and decided that I would watch something adult. 50 Shades was a rental on Amazon and I thought, why not... for $3.99 even if it is THAT horrible it's not like I broke the bank renting it. So I watched it - This movie left me with a really, really off feeling. What you want to do with your sex life is what you want to do and I'm totally cool with that - however Christian Gray blasted through so many boundaries. That lifestyle is all about consent, but he consistently broke right through Anastasia's boundaries. Who the heck shows up in a girls apartment with a bottle of wine after she broke up with him or sends her flowers because he's stalking her on her first day of work. The first one ended so abruptly that I had...

This weekend was a little crazy at our house. I wasn't supposed to have my kiddo (it's H1's weekend) but ended up having him so his dad could do some computer work. I will never pass up an opportunity to hang out with C, so we headed off to the Seattle Science Center with some good friends. Saturday evening I had a date scheduled with K.  We had been talking online for awhile, that moved to text messages and then we finally met in person. We were originally going to meet on Friday night, however Friday evening turned into a cluster of things I needed to get done before Saturday. He was irritated that Friday didn't happen, I can't blame him there. I just got busy and time got away from me. Anyway, Saturday we met for dinner at Sushi Zen - an excellent sushi spot in Mill Creek. We met about 7:30, I wore jeans, boots and a t-shirt because fancy was not on the agenda for me. He had assured me on the phone that he wasn't dressing up either - that was an understat...

Oh. My. Goodness.... wait until you guys here about this one... I can't even think up an interesting name to call the guy. Lets just call him something boring, like George. George and I had plans on Saturday to go down to Brooklyn Brothers Pizza and hit up Funko. Since I had an minor oral surgery on Thursday and George had to work till one, we put off the date until Sunday. It was fine by me, I spent Saturday at home watching Netflix and doing laundry. Sunday rolled around and I put on a pair of jeans and a cute shirt, dressing up wasn't on my list of things to do. I wasn't sure what I thought of George, we had been talking for awhile and he seemed nice. I got to Brooklyn Brothers (not before shooting off a text to my wonderful neighbor letting her know where I was) and we grabbed a seat. The conversation was fine, nothing super interesting. I felt like I yammered on a bit more than usual, but it kept things going at least. The lunch was uneventful, he told me about his...

I've been texting back and forth with P for awhile now. I've had my son for the past three weekends in a row (we went winter camping in the snow, it was AMAZING) and life has been busy. Last night we were trying to ferment plans for the weekend, he offered to come over to my house with a pizza and we could watch movies and hang out.... I think that my answer was a bit harsh, but really... I know that coming over for pizza and getting to know each other (yeah, there *might* be an ulterior motive there but i'm honestly not sure at this point) sounds like a great idea, but here's the deal... I'm a single mom who lives with her nine year old son. If you think for one minute random internet guy that i'm going to let you come over and hang out at my house you have another thing coming to you. My reply to him: P: I could bring pizza and a movie to your place. Me: Really? P: Would that be cool? Me: Lets think this through... am I going to invite a man i've ne...

2017 was a rough year for me. I found out H2 (husband #2) married someone else, while we were still married. We were under contract for too many houses to count, my apartment was packed and we were moving. I found out H2 was nothing but a narcissistic con artist who got off on taking advantage of me. H2 lied to me to the point where he told me he had cancer (seriously, who lies about that!). Everytime I came near to catching on to his scheme he would light fireworks in the opposite direction and completely divert my attention. At one point my dad very articulately pointed out that H2 and Donald Trump have A LOT in common and no, that's not a good thing. I've gone from a reality where I was so on edge I thought I was losing my mind (precisely where he wanted me) to somewhere in between where I finally feel like i'm back in control of myself without having to walk on pins and needles. I've also learned that a good therapist is worth their weight in gold. At first I w...