.... and then we broke up

I went to text him goodnight tonight, but I realized we broke up today and I shouldn’t. It was on fine terms, I brought up some concerns and things just kinda fell into a downward spiral. I’m sure it didn’t help that everything was via text, but it’s probably a good thing that he couldn’t hear my voice crack or the tears well in my eyes. Over thinking things is something I do when I’m not feeling comfortable with a situation, when the ground becomes shaky and my confidence waivers. When I should pull people in I push away. It’s what I do, it’s pobably what I did. My mind just races and there is no stopping that steam engine. I’m sad, I wish him the best... I’ve survived break ups before, I’ll survive it again but it doesn’t seem to take away the hurt. The sing of the cut, layered with the exhaustion of a really long weekend has me in an overly emotional fragile state of mind. So here I lay, blogging in bed... it is what it is, the walls go back up and again I wonder if there is someone right out there for me. I think I’m giving up for awhile because I just can’t anymore...