Third time is a charm

My most recent texting conversation... I'm not even sure what to call this guy, but by the end I was definitely baiting him for my own entertainment purposes. There was a strange obsession with an App called WhatsApp, I refused to download it on my phone - here's how it went down... Can you please help do something?    What? I want you to download WhatsApp because it's easy to use.     Nope. Why?     I don't want it on my phone. Because I cannot continue like this     Well, I'm sorry to hear that you can't continue to text message on your phone. WhatsApp is easy to text and do video call.     Your cell phone can't text or do video call? What do you mean?     Never mind. So please let use that communicate     This isn't going to work. Good luck on your search for the perfect WhatsApp girl. …. oh here's where it gets good. My mom called and I ended up on the phone with her for 15 minut...

I've texted, he hasn't replied. I'm done - I may have messed up, but it's his loss as much as mine. I'm not going to chase someone down who obviously can't take the time to text back. Not going to lie, it sucks, but it is what it is and it's time to get over it. It's time to throw myself into other activities. Fall is my favorite season, so we have multiple pumpkin patch trips planned this year. Washington has amazing fall colors and it's surprisingly warm during the day, which makes for some fun trips. C's Scouting troop is going to take over a corn maze one of the weekends, it'll definitely be entertaining! Next thing I know it'll be Halloween, C's birthday in November, Thanksgiving, Christmas and 2019 will be knocking at our door. In my head i'm already making some resolutions for 2019, however i'm planning on starting them in 2018. The first resolution might just be stop stressing over guys who don't stress over yo...

More than anything I’m sad because I lost a friend. Someone who I told everything to, the good, the bad and the ugly. Someone who I would catch myself looking at my phone, just to see if there was a message. I lost someone who I adored due to my own lack of confidence and ability to understand relationships. I lost someone I romantically enjoyed but what hits me the most is the loss of the friendship. I don’t know that I’ve cver looked at a boyfriend or husband as a friend. This was a first for me. I’ve always left relationships mad and it’s gotten me through the pain. I’m not mad this time. I texted him Friday night, anxiously checking my phone, wishing to see the name of my friend pop up, but it never did. I can’t blame him, I have re read and over analyzed the conversation we had a million times and each time I sound like more of a bitch. I shouldn’t have texted because the lack of reply just stings more. I shouldn’t have gotten attached because when you put down walls this is what ...

It's frustrating when you try to get someone off your mind and they just keep coming back. It's the stupid stuff, like my car is in the shop and they came back with stuff wrong with it. My impulse was to pick up my phone and tell him about it. Nope, can't do that. It's the little things that sting, like putting hydrogen peroxide on a cut. It hurts for a bit, but then it goes away... until you scrape it on something else and need to clean it again. It's a circular thing. It is nice to know that nice guys still exist though. He did give me hope that there are some decent guys out there. I'm still pretty darn convinced they are few and far between. I need to get over this guy before I even think about finding anyone else. It's nice to know though. It provides just a sliver of hope, much like a sun's ray through the rain and clouds. In a world where people can't bother to hold doors for each other anymore it's nice to know good people are still out...

I went to text him goodnight tonight, but I realized we broke up today and I shouldn’t. It was on fine terms, I brought up some concerns and things just kinda fell into a downward spiral. I’m sure it didn’t help that everything was via text, but it’s probably a good thing that he couldn’t hear my voice crack or the tears well in my eyes. Over thinking things is something I do when I’m not feeling comfortable with a situation, when the ground becomes shaky and my confidence waivers. When I should pull people in I push away. It’s what I do, it’s pobably what I did. My mind just races and there is no stopping that steam engine. I’m sad, I wish him the best... I’ve survived break ups before, I’ll survive it again but it doesn’t seem to take away the hurt. The sing of the cut, layered with the exhaustion of a really long weekend has me in an overly emotional fragile state of mind. So here I lay, blogging in bed... it is what it is, the walls go back up and again I wonder if there is someone...

361 days ago I got a message over Facebook. "Stephanie, can I ask you who your husband is...?" After a bit more back and forth conversation and some picture proof I realized that my husband, who had been devoted to working on the house he purchased for us, wasn't really working on the house. He was spending time with his new wife and her kids. I've spent the better part of a year dwelling and obsessing... where is he..? what is he doing..? WHO is he doing..? This was followed by the Why's. Why me? Why her? and the what's... What did I do wrong? I was laying in bed last night thinking about everything when my thoughts changed. They changed to everything that is great going on. I have an amazing group of friends who have been so supportive of the ups and downs the past year. I've made new friends, grown closer with some friends and have gotten to the point where I can date a wonderfully understanding guy, who I am continually thankful for. I've re...

First of all, wonderful news - I'm officially divorced. I wasn't sure how I'd feel the day it happened, but in the end the amount of relief off of my shoulders was amazing. I talked to H2's newest wife a couple days leading up to the divorce, she's got herself in one heck of a bad situation. There is a part of me that wanted to help save her from the evilness that he is, but the other part of me knows that I can't get pulled back into the black abyss that is H2. I sent her some information on free legal aid in her county and told her that if she ever felt crazy and needed to talk I could help remind her she isn't the crazy one. Outside of that, I just can't. It bothered me, I felt like a bad person because of it - but I can't go down that road again. I'm over the mountain and happily skipping down the other side. I can't pull myself back up again. I've opted to leave the entire situation in the dust... no longer my circus or my monkeys. ...