Third time is a charm

We recently had the discussion that we were going to date exclusively... I'm pretty sure he had it in his head that we already were, but I needed the confirmation. I've learned that I need to learn to talk instead of just obsess in my head over what is going on. He seems to think he's pretty good at dating, which is a good thing because we have all learned that I am not. I've dated a number of guys, trying to figure out what I want in a guy and picnic concert guy (thanks to J for the new name!) seems to have those qualities. As my divorce with H2 comes to a close he has gracefully and eloquently stood by my side, even when I'm in tears. However, lets pause to get this straight... I'm not in tears because my marriage is ending I'm in tears because it was supposed to end in a till death do we part type of way. It's caused a little bit of a roller coaster of feelings of grief. I'm sure in the next number of days the grief will turn to relief as the ...

What is normal when it comes to dating? There is certainly a new normal from when I dated three years ago before H2. There is no time line as to when things should happen, something to tell me that by the third month of dating we should be exclusively dating or when it's okay to introduce a child into the mix. After two failed marriages, which I know neither were my fault, it has still caused me to overthink, to grand proportions.  I like this guy, I enjoy his company. For the past month we have been dealing with fleas in the house. Stupid buggers, I can't figure out how they haven't taken over the world because you can't kill the darn things... I finally called the vet the other day to find out what she thought and what we should do to get rid of the stupid pests. She prescribed a special flea med for the cats but they close at 5pm and there is no way I was going to get back home by 5pm. Without even hesitating he offered to go pick it up. This small act mean...

This weekend marked another fantastic date night. This is the same guy that I was a bit worried things were cooling off with since our baseball schedule was so busy, but now that things have calmed down a bit on the taxi-mom front we were able to go out and have a fantastic time. I packed a picnic - I'm not kidding you guys, seriously I pintrested (is that even a word?) the perfect picnic and did my best to recreate it. Cowboy caviar, water & wine infused with fruit in mason jars, In the process I completely overpacked, but that's nothing new. We walked on the ferry to catch an outdoor concert on the other side of the water. The concert was, well... not the best part of the date, but the people watching was great. After the concert we headed back over to our side of the water and found a spot to lay on the grass and watch the meteor shower and stars. I'm not going to lie, it was pretty darn amazing. It restored a little bit of hope that I thought had left. I came ho...

So this happened :   https://www.instagram.com/p/Blo1cWXjLr2/                                https://www.instagram.com/p/Blo1xjfjENN/ I'll completely admit it - I went back and forth about being okay with this. People are mean and trolls, I don't need that in my life. I'm not the least confident person in the world, but I'm not the most confident either. Life threw a wrench in my wheels and I'm finally overcoming that, knocking myself back down doesn't sound like a fun ride. However, there will be haters in life and that is what it is. This photo set was so amazing that sharing it with the world seemed appropriate. For the first time I went on and read the comments. They actually brought me to tears. My hope is that someone will realize that even though divorce sucks and is really tough, they'll get through it. They'll even come out a stronger person. Sometimes you just need to hear that it will ...

Via POF Message - the black is the actual message, the blue is what was going through my mind... Him: Hi how are you. I'm A**c you are beautiful Me: Hi A**c - it's nice to meet you Him: Ha, nice to meet you too. I'm at work, can I text you when i'm off hun warning, warning, warning.... do not correct his grammar, it's rude. Me: I don't text right away. I've had too many bad experiences with guys who are less than moral... i'm sorry that you have to suffer for their mistakes. I'd be happy to talk to you on here. Him: Ok, i'm not like these other guys hun. I'm retired military I work in repossession and i'm in process for Snohomish county sherriff's i'm very loving caring guy and very affectionate person. Holy cow, does this guy know what a comma or a period is? Lets change the subject and see what he says... Me: Repossession? That must be a hard job. I'm glad my car payment is in full. LOL Him: ...

Awhile ago I wrote about an amazing photo shoot I did, a wreck the dress shoot with my wedding dress from H2. While we aren't quite divorced yet, this was the most freeing thing I could have done for myself. It helped with closure and helped me get out of my own head. Here's how it went... We started out with some champagne.... Then we moved on to some paint...  Next came the red wine... Then the real fun started when the lighter fluid and scissors came out to play.. and then it burned... oh did it burn. It was a lovely sight. It actually continued to burn enough that we had to throw rocks at it and make sure it sunk and burned out! A mini celebration came after the dress sunk Photo credits go to Dani Griffin at After Midnight Photography. Follow her, love her and hire her for pictures. She is amazing... she does our family pictures too. I just got back some amazing pictures of C and I from a 50's style photo shoot! <3 <3 <3 ...

I think in every post I've written I've mentioned how busy life is. There are sometimes I look back and think dang, it would be so nice to have someone helping out. However after those moments I realize that while sometimes life deals a single parent double the hard moments, it also brings double the amazing moments. I was sitting at C's school yesterday, waiting for his violin concert to start. H1 was there - because big events he needs to post pictures and act like dad of the year at. We were just waiting for the kids to come in when out of the blue C comes running up behind us, grabs me and gives me the biggest hug. "Mom, I'm so glad your here!". He proceeds to sit down and tell me all about his worries about being on stage, what if he messes up his strings (it was plucking twinkle, twinkle... pretty sure you'll survive kid!) or what if he pukes on stage. He then plopped down next to me, wrapped his arms around my waist and rested on my shoulder to watc...